2nd Day of School

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I had been so excited for the new school year, since Lily was transfered to a school close to home. Her total bus time is 2o minutes. Which is awesome since she has had to endure a 1 hour and 45 minute bus ride for the past 4 years. But so far her busing has been stressful from the get go.

Usually a week before school starts you will get a visit from the bus driver letting you know that he/she will be your childs bus driver and give you the paper work as to the times of pick up and drop off. We did get that visit on thursday. Since there we were having a huge thunderstorm at the time the bus driver did not get out of the bus and instead called me on the phone to come out and meet him. I couldn't come out, since I was at work! So, I called home and asked Lily's dad to go out and meet the driver. He did go out with an umbrella and was given a contract that Lily would be picked up at 6:09am! School starts at 8:45! And her school is maybe a 10 minute car ride! Since there was a bad thunderstorm going on he really didn't think about the time or the school that the bus driver said he would be taking her too. But once he got in the house and called me with the times and the school We realized there was a big mix up! We had already went to open house and met with Lily's teacher and knew what school she was going to. We still called the school board and transportations and finally after a day we got a return call that there was a mix-up and the school that Lily was scheduled to go to was over filled. WTF! She has a cubby already with her name on it at the school next to are house and they are going to bus her 2 hours plus away! On saturday we got a call that they had made a mistake and Lily would be going to the school close to home. The whole ordeal made me so nervous. Its bad enough that Lily is going to a new school but to not know if the right bus would show up was making me uncertain. Sure enough on monday morning at 6:09 I heard a bus show up! I didn't go out there and he left. Lily's bus that we were told would be here at 8:09 never came! At 8:45 am we took her to school. And thank goodness the teachers were excited to see her. But mommy was scared that the bus would not be bringing her home! The bus did bring her home but was a hour late bringing her home! We were a wreck waiting for her! We were both on the phone calling anyone who would listen and answer.

Thank goodness the second day went better. The bus picked her up on time. and dropped her off on time. Everything seemed great until this;



Lily gets off the bus with strange marks on her arm. A bunch of red polka dots. She came into the house and told me her arm hurts. When I looked and seen the marks, I asked her how that happened. She did not hesitate with her answer......."The bus"......I said, "The bus", she said, "yes ouwwweeeee". That was the extent of her answer to me. I tried to get more out of her but she is just not verbal enough to explain what might of hurt her on the bus. It has been 3 hours since she has been home from school and the marks are still there as bright as when she first showed me. I can't wait to ask the bus driver how she could get marks like this on her arm.

Why can't things just be easier. I wonder if she could communicate with me it would be easier.

Outgrown in Body........But not Spirit

Sunday, July 31, 2011




I walked into Lily's room and caught her primping herself at her play vanity. As you can see in picture she is very big girl compared to her vanity set. Looking at her sitting on the stool, it looks like it must hurt her to sit on. And she looks extremely odd! But there she sat for 30 minutes lost in her fantasy. She was talking away to the mirror and combing her hair. I couldn't really make out her words, for they are mostly not understandable but her tones were understandable. She was being her bossy little self to the person in her play world.

Seeing her on the small stool made me think again how she is so child like. She loves to make believe. Yet her body is getting so much bigger. She is 10 1/2 now. But still enjoys her toddler toys and even toddler TV shows. And nothing is wrong with that. Until, I see her body sitting at her small little vanity and realize how different her body is to her mind!

I wonder at what point do I get rid of her small toys. She still so enjoys her play kitchen and little mermaid vanity. But she towers over both. If they were out of site would she seek out more grown up play. Am I encouraging her to play like a toddler instead of introducing other ways to have her entertained. I am pretty sure that she has exceeded both age and weight limit for her toys.

When she was about 6, she started looking way to large for her stroller. She still didnt have the agility to walk around by herself, but she was getting way to big for her stroller. She looked odd sitting in the stroller and it had become a safety hazard since she had exceeded the weight limit long before and the wheels were starting to bow out. That is when we moved her to a wheelchair. But not without much emotional distress on my part letting go of a piece of equipment that felt like she still needed to be in mentally.

I have always seen her at the age she acts mentally and not the age of her body. So, when i am reminded of her body size compared to her mind, I am always reminded of what the future will be like for us.

Bribery is bad for health

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I am so guilty of bribing Lily to get her to do things. And there has only been one thing that has worked for bribing. That is the word "Happy Meal" Lily! I have tried all kinds of things to tempt her with. I have taken away her favorite things. But she really doesn't make the connection that I am taking away her favorite object because she won't get on the bus, or get out of bed so she can get ready to catch the bus. But when i say "Lily i will bring you home a happy meal from work. She jumps right up understanding what that means. I know what the Happy meals have done to her. They have added to her high cholesterol and her weight. I am literally making my daughter unhealthy to get her to listen to me. No, I have made my daughter unhealthy. And again, it is always my last resort to lay this bribe out there.

Lily dreams of Happy Meals, literally dreams of it! i have seen her making the sign for McDonalds (her own sign that she has made) in her sleep. She walks around from person to person saying, "up down, up down". hoping someone will give in to her begging for it. she has refused her meals and said, "no, up down, up down! She will go thru magazines and find the happy meal adds (and yes, they actually have adds in the parenting mags), she memorizes the pages. Just in case her verbal pleading is not heard she can pull out the magazine and show us the boy with the happy meal box! Yes, i feel guilty for having created this McDonalds nightmare! And my kids think I am terrible for what I have created!

And like most of the behavior problems I deal with, with Lily, it stems from me being too exhausted. My older children says I am just so Lazy when it comes to mothering Lily. But, this is coming from children who have had me as a stay at home mom most of their life. I was younger and full of creative energy for them. I was patient because i had the whole day to be patient. If they didn't want to get up or get on the bus I could reason with them and they could understand me. And being late for school did not make me late for work. My day revolved around them and them only. Not me trying to make a living for them. So yes, in a way they are right I am a lazy mom. But my Laziness is just from pure exhaustion and stress.

If I could be a stay at home mom for Lily I think things would of been so different for us all. She would be more active, i would have time to be more patient with her, and let her learn her own lessons. I am in such a rush most the time that I can't show her the consequence of certain behaviors. With patience and time I can usually out wait her bad behavior. But I don't have that. I am running around all day being physical in my job. When I get home I literally cant move. I will usually leave the caring for her including dinner for her dad to take care of. And by the time i am able to move and deal with her she doesn't really want me around because she has had her dad all evening. So, I definitely use that as an excuse for not dealing with her.

I know her bad behavior is from my bad behavior. If i was more plugged into her she could be more plugged into me. I felt so blessed that Lily didn't have heart problems that needed to be repaired when she was born. In fact, the cardiologist excused her from her care on 9-11 (that same day that we all know as the day Americans never felt safe again). As I left Lily's doctor appt yesterday where i was told her cholesterol is still out of control and has been that way for a steady 4 years. All i could think about was how lucky i had always felt about her not having heart surgery, but here I am helping to give her blocked artery's at age 9. At the rate we are going she will need surgery for her heart after all, all cuz i am using "HAPPY MEALS" as a behavior tool!