I think Lily finally understood the cause and effect of bad behavior. Its summertime, so we are in the pool everyday. Saturday, we had more fun than usual. Lily started doing some of they things she mastered in the pool last year, but was to scared to do it this year. She sat for a while on the bench in the deep-end. I was laying on the floater. First we talked and went over her address, phone number, age, and her birthdate. Than she got bored and wanted to make me laugh some. She pulled me on the float to her and was holding me like a baby. That in itself gets her laughing! But she would softly start doing a drum roll and than wham she would tip me off my floatee. Which, caused us both to laugh hysterical. I just let her keep doing it until she was bored and wanted to move on.
Lily and I clash so often, so when she is feeling loving toward me I am greedily eating it up! After about 2 hours in the pool, I told Lily that it was time to get out of the pool. I got out and wrapped my towel around me and turned around to help her and she was wrapped around the hand rail tipping her hair back into the water as we call it, doing, "the mermaid". I told her how beautiful her hair was all fanned out and kept my nice voice, and told her she must get out. Pool time is over. I sat on the lounger while she finished shaking her hair and barking her orders for me to "leave her alone", "go away", "not now". Her usual "piss off" mom attitude. I wondered what could trigger her drastic mood change for her to be so sweet and loving to me to such an evil mouthed girl! I gave her a couple of minutes in complete silence to do her mermaid. And nicely asked her to get out. She pointed to the door and said "you get out"! Now her attitude was unacceptable, I was patient, I kept my nice voice, but now Hell mom is coming out! The angrier I got the meaner my voice became. I tried everything to get her out including going back in the pool and trying to pry her off the rail. I am convinced Lily is stronger than me! Her sister came out and tried to persuade her, too. Than I said the magic words, which I still didn't think she would understand the consequences of what I was saying, "LILY NO POOL TOMORROW! IF YOU DON'T GET OUT NOW!" Wham it worked! She actually understood! We got into the house and she was still very apologetic, "sorry mom", I sorry mom", sorry mom I didn't mean to do it", I love her talking! Especially, the apologetic talk! The best part is I feel she really meant her apologies. And I love she knows there was a consequence to her staying in the pool. But would she really remember the punishment from the day before??
|The misbehaving Lily!|
After our shower she was still feeling bad about her behavior, even though, I didn't remind her of it. And like she does when she gets overwhelmed she went into her room and locked the door to the family. I was secretly gloating knowing that she felt bad about how she treated me!
The true test would be the next day, if she got out nicely with me or give me trouble getting out of the pool. Would she remember the threat from mommy to not let her go back into the pool if she won't get out when asked too? The answer was YES!! She remembered! When it was time to get out she got out beautifully. In fact, she helped me with my towel! She went straight into the shower with no argument. What a complete joy it was to know, she knows her consequences! In my heart and head this was such a major milestone in the many I get to still look forward to seeing Lily learn.